Tag Archives: women

How Mrs. Maisel can inspire the modern woman

Posted in entertainment, pop culture, tv by

Enter Mrs. Maisel. A gorgeously irritating, fast-talking, quick-witted fashion icon that defies, not only the era she finds herself in, but the often prevailing notions that surround women today. As she makes her way to our screens for the fifth and final season of The Marvelous Mrs Maisel, we recall the evolution of her character and the uncovering of a TV treasure destined to live on long after the show airs. 

Midge, as she’ll come to be known by, is a complex character. From the almost get-go, she is seen relinquishing any concern for what society expects of her as a 1950’s mother and housewife. Of course, there are hints of hypocrisy as she is seen measuring the width of her hips and can appear heavily consumed with her appearance regularly flapping over outfit choices. This could be viewed as against the grain of what we want from our feminist icons but perhaps it would be much more modern of us to grant her this choice. Why can’t she swear, be funny and look good? If Midge has taught us anything, it’s that none of these traits are mutually exclusive. She shatters the illusion that women aren’t funny and that beautiful things shouldn’t utter obscenities. She is never seen to be self-pitying and, though never treating the men in her life unkindly, she realises they are only accessories to her bigger dream of becoming a stand-up comedian.

Her transformation from a housewife trying desperately to please her husband in the first episode to an ambitious single female, unperturbed by any of society’s expectations, is quick. The revelation of a cheating husband does not inspire Midge to get mad, as it might most of us, but to get even. We don’t watch her burn his clothes or sob for half a series. Instead, we see her take to the stage in comedic perfection. Without any deliberate intention of stealing her husband’s ambition of becoming a comic, she naturally assumes this role through inadvertently unleashing the humour she always possessed (which just so happened to far outweigh any talent her husband had). It took this shattering betrayal and loss of what she perceived to be her sole identity as the perfect wife and mother to realise that she had something to offer the world outside of these stereotypes.

What we love most about Midge is her fearlessness – she is unafraid to make the seemingly unholy admission that neither motherhood nor domestic life fulfil her. She does not dilly-dally, wrap herself in guilt or doubt herself. Granted, she takes this to the extreme as she is seen taking an arguably passive interest in her children. But if Dad did the same would anyone bat an eyelid? Equally, she comes from the absolute privileged position of having willing parents and a housekeeper able to care for her children allowing her the freedom to pursue her goals.

While most modern women find themselves in the midst of a circus-balancing act, we never watch Midge panic over the frivolities of life. Even when faced with financial difficulties, she finds a way of managing without spiralling. Again, it might be a flawed version of reality but it’s somewhere in this lack of realism that we can find ourselves inspired by Midge. The underlying message of female empowerment prevails without weighing heavy on the practicalities that consume most of us.

And though she paints a picture of togetherness, matching hats to a seemingly endless wardrobe of cocktails dresses, Midge is far from perfect. She is self-centred and, frankly, annoying at times. She is all-consumed with her own progress and unconcerned with the problems of those around her, leading us to question her actions at times. If we women are guilty of putting others before ourselves – Midge is guilty of putting herself before anyone else. In spite of this, we seem to forgive her. We recognise that she is fiction. She is the representation of what most of us might dare to be but never could be. She is bold and unyielding; she is impassioned and selfish; she is unquestionably marvelous.

As the series draws to a close, we are left wondering if Midge will ever make it big or if she’ll pursue any of the potential love interests she previously encountered. Really though – I don’t think we’re too concerned with either. It is in her unwavering pursuit of what makes her happy that we find interest in our leading lady. Our happy ending comes in watching a woman take to the stage, against the odds, making those laugh that defy she be funny in the first place. She serves as a reminder to us all that we should never give up on our dreams – no matter how far-fetched they may seem.

To Mrs. Maisel, we say “You’ve been amazing. Thank you and good night.”

It Ain’t All Roses and Hot Cups of Coffee

Posted in baby, children, christmas, culture, family, home, inspiration, life, lifestyle, mother, motherhood, musings, opinion, parenting, personal, Uncategorized by

 

coffee and roses

Since you’ve had your baby, you’re likely to have experienced every emotion in high definition. When you cry, you could flood your entire living room; when you laugh, you’re on the verge of wetting yourself; and when you get angry, you can almost feel yourself turn green and your trousers start to shrink. Is it the raging hormones? The seemingly never-ending sleep deprivation? Perhaps, it’s just another symptom of your self-diagnosed cabin fever?

While these are all completely apt, I believe there’s another factor slowly driving us towards insanity in our new fragile state of “motherhood” and, thankfully, it’s something we can actually control. PRESSURE. The undying attempt to achieve perfection in every aspect of our lives, be it in our home life, career, or appearance.  This is, of course, not confined to motherhood but I can say, hand on heart, I’ve never quite felt the same level of strain as I do now. While this largely comes from within, there are external forces influencing and misshaping our thoughts and expectations everyday.

Whether it’s a trip to Tesco where you meet that Mother, sporting the latest trends from Topshop, casually strolling down the aisles with her equally fashionable child or it’s that Facebook friend with her perfectly decorated home sipping her, somehow still hot, cup of coffee. To all those who feel their lives gradually spiralling out of control, can I just say, the majority of us are right there with you.

Kudos to those mums who somehow have their shit perfectly together but this is not the bar to set yourself against. It’s fine if you didn’t have time to take your child to see Santa, bake cookies or wrap your presents in photographs of your children dressed as snowmen. I assure you, your children will grow up to be perfectly normal and well-balanced adults.

Thankfully, I am blessed enough to have a close network of “mummy friends” who, on a daily basis, send me images of their unwashed dishes and adorably unkempt children.  Without these women, I can safely say I might have more officially lost the plot (NB. I still have much plot to gain). We embrace the chaos of each others lives and remind each other that those other frills are exactly just that, “frills.”

Keeping your child healthy and happy, alongside maintaining a job and household, are in themselves phenomenal achievements. Neatly stacking your bookshelves and fluffing your cushions are not.

So, to those of you who maybe aren’t as fortunate as me and mummy friends, I say “you are doing great”. Your girls might be biting each other, your little boys might be dismantling your Christmas tree one bauble at a time, and you might still be two dress sizes bigger than you were, but your child is loved and so are you.

And to make you feel better, I’ve included some inspirational pictures of my life as it currently stands. My Christmas tree, missing the entire bottom row of baubles. Followed by my face, which is covered in adult acne. And finally my kitchen sink, which speaks for itself.

Great Expectations: A Mother’s Perspective

Posted in culture, family, life, lifestyle, parenting by

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I have never considered myself a feminist. In fact, I’ve always been uncomfortable with even the notion of “feminism.” I’ve always found something so cliched about concepts such as “Women in Business” etc. This is not to say I’m under the impression that sexism or inequality does not exist in the world, but rather that it has never affected my own personal journey. I’ve thankfully never been discriminated against (at least to my own knowledge) because of my gender, in either my personal or professional life, and no recent event has triggered this particular musing but rather a gradual maturation.

My mother-in-law (I use this term loosely) is always telling me, “It’s a man’s world” and you know what, she’s right. Obviously we can’t really go around spouting statements like these as though they’re universal truths but yeah, in my experience, it is. The point I’m making is that maybe we’ve made it that way.

I love my partner with all my heart. I’d do absolutely anything for him, which i’m sure he knows.  *By the way, the intention of this piece is not to take away from how wonderful a person he is — but rather to reflect upon my actions since being with him and their connotations in a larger sense.* He is a deeply loving and caring person and would never usher me to the kitchen or expect me to do menial chores, and yet I naturally assume these domestic roles. Yes — this is arguably evolutionary but seriously, haven’t we evolved out of this yet? Man hunt. Woman cook. No – man and woman hunt so woman and man now cook.

I don’t think we’re quite there yet.

Having recently had a baby, I’ve since felt the immense pressure that comes along with motherhood. I relish the role – really I do – but some days, I just think “Wow, this is hard.” I myself am incredibly lucky; I have an unbelievably supportive network around me and I am never alone. But at the end of the day, the responsibility rests with the parents and arguably more so with mother.

Cooking, cleaning, laundry, on top of all the baby stuff.  Not to mention, those of us (which is most) who also hold down a job.  It’s a lot. I will now quote Bilbo Baggins of all people, as he perfectly summises how i feel in one sentence.
I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread.
Where does this pressure come from? I know it doesn’t come from the men in my life.  No one has ever told me these tasks were expected of me or that this was my role as a woman. I naturally assumed these roles on moving in with Conor. It appears to me then, that the pressure almost comes from ourselves. There might be subliminal influences from society as a whole, but I almost believe I have created this mountain of work for myself.
They say “Men can’t multitask”, which to me seems like a Get Out Of Jail Free card. I suck at multitasking. Perhaps it is subtleties like these which have, over the years, become hardwired into our thinking.
I have recently made two new mummy friends (*cringe*) and on spending time with these women, I have realised a number of things. I am not alone in these sentiments; women are strong as hell; and we put ourselves under way too much pressure.  We continually scrutinise our actions and are constantly trying to pick each other up from out own personal insults. They work damn hard and I can see that, why can’t they? We complain about our weight, denying ourselves well earned treats, and try our hardest to shift it with things like “Booty Mamma” classes.  When one of us compliments another our go-to response is usually “shut up.” What is that? No, but really, WHAT IS THAT? Even outside these circumstances, my friends have always done this.  Why can’t we take a compliment? Let’s not open that can of worms.
The point is, again we are putting ourselves under unnecessary pressure. No one is telling me to lose weight; on the contrary. The world is now embracing the “Dad bod”, why can’t we embrace our “Mom bods”?
We women are so quick to judge ourselves and each other and herein lies the problem. Appreciate your fellow woman and what they do; support and compliment them instead of putting them down. And to us all I say, “Chill out a bit.” The world will not fall apart if you don’t wash that cup.  And to the men I say, “Just offer to wash the cup”.